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Acohol Is Evil

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Alcohol is evil. Here, I shall attempt to explain why I think this is true.

It Pickles Your Brain
Quite literally, it destroys neural pathways, and also destroys memory. This is why people drink to forget. If your life is shit, sort your life out or kill yourself, one or the other. If you get drunk, your life will still be shit the next morning, with the added bonus that you'll feel like you're dying of a horrible desease.

It Is An Anti-Nutrient
Yes, that's right, alchohol destroys nutrients. We need nutrients for our bodies and minds to function properely. Most people don't eat healthily enough anyway, so have precious little nutrients flowing round their bodies, and therefore destroying what's left makes a bad situation worse. It's basically like a slow form of suicide. Why not just jump off a bridge instead?!

It Makes Some People Agressive & Violent
This can mean that innocent people get stabbed in the face by broken bottles, chairs thrown at them, legs amputated without their permission, and horrible words said to them. Poo.

Drink Driving
Many people are killed every day by drink drivers. Often they are doctors on their way to perform emergency operations. This means more people die. Stop this now!

Lack of Control/Judgement
Alcohol suppresses the part of the brain that controls judgement, resulting in a loss of inhibitions. It also affects physical co-ordination, causing blurred vision, slurred speech and loss of balance. This means you bang into things and fall over, which is bad.

It's Bad For Your Liver
Put simply: alchohol is a toxin. It is the liver's job to detoxify alcohol. By the time you feel drunk, this means the liver can no longer detoxify the alcohol at the rate it is coming into the body. A hangover is half dehydration and half blood poisoning. So put simply: if you wake up hungover, you have purposefully dehydrated and poisoned your body. The liver has many functions. It is one of your most important organs. If you do this to yourself every week, you're doing your body a lot of harm on a regular basis. You might as well inject yourself with a virus just for a laugh.

This is never a pleasant thing to happen to anyone. The idea that people purposefully induce this on a weekly basis has me perpetually bewildered.

Alcohol can make you stupid, forgetful, insanely irresponsible, violent, sick, dizzy, unable to stand up, incoherant, unable to drive a car without killing a surgeon, and with prolonged excessive use, can seriously damage, if not totally destroy, important parts of your body.
These are all things which, if happened suddenly for no apparant reason, would be considered as seriously worrying and indicative of serious illness, yet somehow are accepted when they occur as a result of alcohol. It is therefore my conclusion that alcohol opens up a doorway to a parallel evil universe where the laws of reality are different. They slide through on high gusts of wind which suck them a make them go sideways. "Come back!" other people shout at them, "Come back to our universe! We need you to rescue homeless cats!"

Yes, I know I have a sickeningly bizarre way of blurring the line between seriousness and humour by attempting to inject odd misplaced sections of daftness into a serious rant. Surely though, that's far less harmful than Recreational Body Poisoning?!

Please come back, even if it's only to see the nice pictures.


My Other Blog: Tell the Sky

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  • I'm Marcus
  • From Wotton-under-Edge, Gloucestershire, United Kingdom
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