Photoblog originating from Gloucestershire, England.

Life is just a series of moments, and you just do what you can at each moment. If you think about things too much, you waste half your life trying to figure out the best things to do.

Sometimes I wish I was younger again, especially when I see 18-year-old guys at my workplace who are about to go off to university, knowing exactly what they want out of life and how to get it. I never knew what I wanted when I was 18. In hindsight, I now know that I was starting to suffer from various health problems, which I am now well on the road to sorting out. So no, in that respect I don't wish I was stil 18/19/20, because I was starting to have a lot of problems back then. If anything, I guess I wish I could be that age again BUT with my new found health. Life's not like that though, it is a forward journey, and experience is a great gift, no matter where that experience comes from. As you get older, you realise that you can draw positives from any experiences. I'm far happier now than when I was at college, I have far more self-confidence, and my experience has taught me that nobody else has really got a clue about anything, even those who appear to be the most confident.

These days, if I pass a group of teenagers, the things I hear them talk about, it all sounds so stupid and lacking in experience. It's all attitude and confidence, but with no soul or depth, and when I was the same age as them, I would have been scared of them and thought they were the "cool" ones and I was the odd one out.

These days I am stronger, I have my own directions, my own interests. I don't like alcohol, I don't like staying out late, I don't like all the bullshit that a lot of people put up with from each other. I like being outside in the daytime, in the fresh air and sunshine, I like photography, I like writing stories, I like going places, I like watching comedy on telly, I like listening to music in my car, I like eating healthy foods, I like playing badminton, I like doing yoga.

When you're younger, the main characteristic you have about you is that you are young. When you're at school, you make friends with other people because they are the same age as you. As people get older, they become more different from each other, and then it's more about who you share interests with, no matter what there age is. I'm 26, but I'm friends with a 36-year-old man who I met through my walking group and who I sometimes play sports with. I would never have been friends with him back when I was 16 and he was 26, or even more extreme, when I was 6 and he was 16! There's even a guy in our walking group who's 46, and I find him really funny, it's like we're the same age!

When you're young, it's all about being "cool" and being popular, but as you get older, it becomes far more about developing your own interests and being true to yourself. Once you're an adult, if you're true to yourself, if you're happy with the things you do with your time, and if you don't hurt anyone, there really aren't any other questions to answer, I really think it's that simple. Be healthy, be happy, be friendly, be yourself.

You can have the best career in the world, you can live in the biggest house, you can drive the fastest car and shop at the trendiest stores, but unless you're happy, unless you're following a path that nourishes your soul, it's all for nothing.

The thing I've grown to love about photography, is that it teaches you to stop and look at things, to observe the beauty in everyday things. Open your eyes to the true beauty of the world around you, and build tiny moments of joy into each moment of your day. Standing in a cue doesn't have to be a waste of time - use it to think of ideas for a story, or just observe the people around you. Long journeys to work don't have to be a drag - listen to something on the car stereo, whether it be your favourite music or a comedy radio show on tape, and surrender yourself to the joy of it. If you're doing a boring task at work, it doesn't have to be a drag - chat to the people sat around you, the chances are they're bored too. Or even if you get into an arguement with someone, it doesn't have to be totally negative - use the experience to learn as much as possible about human behaviour and yourself, and then next time you might think about what you say more. Observe how other people argue, and spot where they go wrong, how they get too emotional too quickly and start shouting - think about how you might deal with the situation better if you were either person. Sometimes listening to what a person is trying to say (even if you disagree with it) can help prevent an arguement. And remember, there's far more in comunication than just the actual words people say. Don't just listen to what they are saying, but question WHY they are saying it, and read between the lines. If someone has a habit of behaving badly towards others (including you), it is often just a habit which feeds off of other peoples knee-jerk reactions to them. Learn how to brake the cycle and behave in a positive way that the other person isn't expecting. Understand that, when people are purpetually nasty towards other people, it's often because they are in pain inside, and they don't know how to deal with it. Try to learn more about them, and treat them in a way that will make them feel good enough about themselves so they no longer need to be nasty.

This is the cathedral where Harry Potter was filmed:

I've just discovered Front Line Assembly.

Actually, I first heard about them in the early-mid 90s when they were on a Heavy Metal show I watched called Noisey Mothers. They were only on there because they had recently ecnoporated guitars into their sounds. I didn't take a huge amount of notice of them at the time, because I heard that they were originally a purely electronic industrial act, and I was still into Heavy Metal back then.

I just recently remembered their name again. I have no idea why. Anyway, I decided to try listening to some, and I think it will make great driving music.

It's nice to hear some hard music which doesn't have guitars in it, yet also doesn't sound like hardcore techno. This is really creative and well-thought-out hard electronic music. It's not pointlessly hard like some extreme Heavy Metal is, yet it's not overly melodic like a lot of dance music is these days. It somehow occupies its own place away from either.

I find it refreshing when I hear music which doesn't conform to trends or common formulas, and ends up being more listenable as a result. The problem I have with a lot of dance music these days, is that the pounding beat is exactly the same in every single song! I often enjoy listening to an online Trance radio broadcast, but sometimes end up turning it off because the constant beat ends up irritating me. I'd quite like to hear some Trance with different style of beat behind it, or maybe even without beats.

But anyway, back to Front Line Assembly. It's totally mental, and in a really good way. Lyrics far darker than most guitar bands ("...devised with only one goal, control and destruction pool all this power of evil, this global warming must bake with all our souls..." or "...faces of a Thousand People, the Sickness in Their Mind Is Real, we Fight and Struggle to Surviv, this Cultured Way of Suicide..."), with music far more interesting and hard-hitting than any guitarist could ever play.

I'm going to play this in my car really loud, and drive faster and faster until I explode. Then I'm going to be reborn and build a giant castle and kill people. I'm not really. Had you fooled though. You're so gullible. Look at you. You smell of fuck.

My Other Blog: Tell the Sky

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  • I'm Marcus
  • From Wotton-under-Edge, Gloucestershire, United Kingdom
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