I got invited round to my friend's house for a birthday party last night. It was a friend I don't get to see very often, so I decided it was important to go. There were 5 of us there, and I was being very much the individual, eating my own food and being the only person not drinking alcohol.

Still, I'm a bit daft by nature sometimes anyway, and decided to have as much sober fun as I could. Playing Twister with 3 drunk women is actually quite good fun when you're sober and therefore your eyesight is behaving itself. Imagine: sober 26-year-old man in awkward position right next to giggling drunk women (aged between 22 and 27) bent over awkwardly. Life could be worse.

Later, as the other peoples' increased intoxication ruled out further games of Twister or any other game, such activities then included: dancing like a complete spastic imbetween two drunk women, using my mouth to blow fart noises on drunk womens' bellies, and a REALLY bizarre game of Truth or Dare where one woman confessed to having once done a shit in her parents back garden, and where I was forced to confess that the worst place I'd ever stuck my penis was in a vacuum cleaner and that my strangest sexual fantasy was to be on a nudist holiday whilst being allowed to have an erection. I've been informed by my friend's boyfriend that I have a warped mind. I'm devastated. I'm not really.

Eventually though, they drank so much so quickly, that by about 1:30am, they were all starting to curl up and go to sleep, and I quickly found myself sat in the lounge surrounded by 4 unconcious people (3 women, 1 man). So I decided to get back in my car and drive 20 miles back home, happy with the thought that I was the only person out of us 5 who would remember the events fully and also not feel like complete shit when I woke up.

I'm glad I don't do that every week though. I like my walking groups. Give me socialising in the great outdoors any day over being stuck inside with strange smokey smells!